Yes, the main character in my short story “Oblivious” was me. True story, of course. Those two nights years ago stand out to me for some reason despite the plethora of bad moments caused by an alcoholic father.
I can’t decide if thinking/writing about my childhood is helpful. According to everything I’m reading lately, I should let it go.
“I have little use for the past, and rarely think about it.”
That’s the first sentence from Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. It’s also one of my favorite lines.
Still, once in awhile, I can’t help to think about my father’s battle with the bottle. How is he still alive? How resilient is the human body if my earliest memories of dad stink of beer and self-abuse and here he is even YESTERDAY producing the same sad stories.
The slowest suicide ever.
Categories: My Childhood · The Power of Now
Tagged: Alcoholism, liver disease, suicide
A comment on my last post brought up my upbringing as a possible cause of my social anxiety disorder. What can I say?
It’s possible.
I wrote a short story in a fiction writing class about a small boy in bed listening to his parents fight. His dad was most likely half-drunk. This little boy kept his head under the blankets with his hands pressed so tight against his ears that they would burn when the pressure was relieved. A kitchen chair scooting loudly across the linoleum punctuated this particular fight.
Some days later, this little boy was in bed again. Head above covers. Everything quiet. All of a sudden he hears the same sound, the kitchen chair scooting loudly across the linoleum. He jumped out of bed, crying, and ran into the kitchen to find his parents standing together in a way that he quickly recognized as cordial. Still, he wrapped his arms around his mother’s legs, as to protect her.
The boy’s parents were understandably puzzled and mildly amused at his behavior. He didn’t bother explaining.
I titled the story “Oblivious” and my instructor gave me an “A” on it.
Categories: Bad Karma · My Childhood
Tagged: Alcoholism, domestic violence, fiction writing, linoleum, short story, social anxiety disorder, social fear
